The Art of the Quarter Life Crisis

For those of you who don't know me (cough*Julianne's friends/coworkers*cough), my parents decided to go to Florida for the month of January. Then, for about the past two weeks, my brother was on an international trip to Romania, Maldova, and Hungary. For me, this translated into an excessive amount of alone time holding down the proverbial fort.

Now, being an introvert, I'm no stranger to alone time. I typically love it, actually. However, for some reason, this time I found myself evaluating my life. Good news bad news time.

Good news: I have a loving family and friends, two cats, and a Masters degree.

Bad news: My life doesn't measure up to anything I ever hoped for myself.

If you had asked me when I was 18 (eleven years ago....omg. Excuse me while I breathe into a bag for a minute), I would have told you that my primary goal was to be married before I was 30. I'm not kidding. That wasn't just one of the items on the list, it WAS the list. It was the litmus test; being married by 30 meant that I was normal. That I was lovable. What can I say? I have very few life goals. Not to mention that at the time I had NO IDEA whatsoever what I was going to do with my life in terms of education and career. All I knew was that I didn't want to be alone.

Good news bad news time.

Bad news: I'm alone.

Good news: It's not actually that bad (most of the time). Turns out that I haven't collapsed under the weight of my unrealized dreams of matrimony. On the contrary, I've gotten pretty tough. I mean, I know how to reverse the door on my clothes dryer, clean out the crap from my dishwasher, and I barely cry at the end of most RomComs.

This isn't to say I've completely given up on the idea of getting married/making babies, but it's no longer this idea that sustains me through the lonely moments. The bad news is, I don't have all that much to sustain me through these moments except my own daydreams. That's perfectly adequate most of the time. But sometimes, when I'm completely alone and it occurs to me that I'm lecturing the characters on British TV for making terrible decisions (I'm looking at you, John Paul Rocksavage), I find myself sort of...waking up.

And that's when I realize that I'm doing NOTHING with my life. I'm waiting around for something to happen. And it never does, so I just disappear back into my own imagination. But here is the thing: I WANT TO LIVE.

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I want to travel the world. I want to meet weird people. I want my life to add value to the lives of others. I spend so much time being afraid of making a misstep that I don't go ANYWHERE. So here is what I'm going to do. I'm going to start walking. In some direction; any direction. Even if it terrifies me. Even if it means that my life is upended. Because I refuse to lead an unlived life. I've got nothing to be afraid of. The worst has already happened. I'm single at 29, and unless something really crazy happens in the next year, I'm going to be single at 30 too. So what?

I choose to move forward. I choose to be of value to the world around me. I choose to create dreams that don't revolve around unrealistic expectations. And if, one day, I DO get married (big "if"), it will be because I met a super cool guy while doing something that breathes life into the world around me. And if I don't, MY LIFE WILL STILL BE GOOD because I chose not to give up on myself simply because my life didn't look at 29 the way I thought it ought to back when I was 18.

The art of the quarter life crisis is this: Changing direction when you realize your life isn't going where you KNOW in your heart it should. Good news bad news time.

Bad news: That's friggin' terrifying.

Good news: I'm doing it anyway.

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Let's Blog the new 1D album.

Ok, let's.


I don't know how many of you know this, but I (Becky), too, have caught the One Direction Infection. It's a little out of control, if I'm being honest, so when the new album dropped, I told Julianne we had to blog our reactions to the album, song by song. What follows is a record of our Facebook conversation as we listened to the album. If you ever wanted to know what two fabulous and brilliant women talk about when no one else is listening/reading, this is basically your dream come true.


(For the best possible experience, we recommend listening to the album on Amazon Prime or what have you WHILST reading the post.)


Becky: Let’s begin, shall we? "Hey Angel."
I kind of dig it, but it brings up so many questions for me. Like, is it about someone who died and is now an angel looking down? Or is it about, like, the angels that God created? Because if it's the latter, I think it's a lot more interesting of a song. Especially the line "I wish I could be more like you. Do you wish you could be more like me?" The idea of angels who were created to do a job and didn't have an option wishing they could have the freedoms that humans have is an interesting concept to me.

Julianne:I agree with what you're saying, but the lyrics in the bridge don't make sense then. Unless the person they're singing to changes midway. For me, this song is pleasant but it doesn't have that little something extra that makes me love it

Becky: What do you mean it doesn't make sense?

Julianne:"I come alive when I hear your voice, it's a beautiful sound, it's a beautiful noise." How is that about a real angel? And backseat of my car, etc. That part, you could say that the angel is really there, but not visible. But I don't know how you'd hear their voice.

Becky: Why can't angels ride in cars?

Julianne:Well yes, that's what I'm saying. But how do they talk to you?

Becky: Mary heard an angel's voice. Just saying.

Julianne:I agree but that's not the vibe of the song... and the way they're wording it makes it sound like it's a regular occurrence.

Becky: Maybe it's about Schizophrenia

Julianne:Lol, maybe.

Becky: "Drag me down". GO.

Julianne:I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SONG. This is the song that made me realize why all of the tweens love Harry. I never got it before. Sometimes I think about how to make this song better and then I realize it's impossible

Becky: I agree. I never understood the Harry Styles appeal until I saw him crooning into the camera on this video and I was like, what is this feeling I'm feeling? And it was the first time I saw Niall's smile.

Julianne:And Louis making his adorable facial expressions.

Becky: Shit eating grin, more like.

Julianne:Well, I love it. This song makes me feel like I can fly. Which is funny since they have a song called, "If I Could Fly"

Becky: So fitting. Will you tell my future husband that if I'm ever mad at him, all he has to do is tell me I'm a boat?

Julianne:Second verse, Harry just kills it. I like him in the first verse but in the second, he takes it someplace else

Becky: Harry's vocals on this song are killer.

Julianne:And yes, I'll tell your future husband to remember you're a boat

Becky: Ok. I'm on “Perfect” now.

Julianne:I'm almost there. I can't cut DMD short…Okay “Perfect” began

Becky: When I first heard this, it kind of knocked my socks off. I loved it. It's lost a little of its sparkle since it's been played a bunch and I've listened to it on repeat a couple of times. But I still love it…I'd love Niall from time to time. Lol.

Julianne:I agree, the radio has kind of diminished this one a bit but it's still awesome. My love for DMD is so great that not even the radio can decrease it.

Becky: That's true love if ever there was one. This song kind of makes me want to toss my moral compunctions aside and have a fling. Is compunctions the right word?

Julianne:Inhibitions?

Becky: Both would work. I just looked it up.

Julianne:Haha, so did I. I love the descriptions in this song because I DO like midnight driving with the windows down and going places I can't even pronounce lol. I don't know if Harry really wrote this song about Taylor Swift, but I like his line about breakup songs regardless. This video was not my fave however. It was okay but not that exciting

Becky: I agree. Niall hardly ever smiled.

Julianne:Hahaha. Compunctions is a good word.

Becky: Ok, “Infinity” started

Julianne:Okay, me too.

Becky: This one starts off kind of boring, honestly.

Julianne:I agree. It's another one where I'm like, nice to listen to but not doing a whole lot for me.

Becky: I like the chorus.

Julianne:I like the chorus better too. I watched their YouTube vids where they talked about each of the songs and Louis called it a "banger" which really threw me off

Becky: Like a sausage? Isn't a sausage called a banger in England? Bangers and mash? I feel like that's a thing.

Julianne:That is a thing. But a banger in my mind is a club ready song, makes me want to dance

Becky: Like a head banger? How is this a head banger?

Julianne: Kind of, although head banger would be more rock. That’s why I was confused.

Becky: When you and Louis finally get together you can have him explain it to me.

Ok. “End of the Day” This one has really grown on me. It paints such a vivid picture.

Julianne:I have always really liked this one. The only thing that was throwing me off is the slow chorus

Becky: It sounds kind of like they took two songs and spliced them together.

Julianne:Yes, exactly

I really like the verses and I like the chorus but they don't seem to fit together

Becky: I completely agree. I don't know if that was an artistic choice or they just tried to fit a square peg into a round hole, so to speak. I like the line about winding up in the hospital. "The priest thinks it's the devil. My mom thinks it's the flu." I laugh every time.

Julianne:I love that line too. The chorus is really simple lyrically but it's beautiful. Louis got two solos in this one. I don't miss Zayn at all.

Becky: Zayn who? Lol.

Julianne:Exactly

Becky: The question remains, at the end of the day, did she want him?

Julianne:Of course she did. “If I Could Fly” This one is maybe my least favorite. I don't hate it; I just find it boring.

Becky: This one is kind of "meh," for me.

Julianne:I guess it's sad but I don't really feel that sad.

Becky: Oh, wait, I think I like the chorus. I mean, I like the lyrics The tune is fine, but the lyrics make me think of James Bond.

Julianne:I guess I feel like the concept of "I'm missing half of me" has been done.

Becky: Yeah, I get that. But choosing to be vulnerable with someone is a nice idea. But I agree. Ain't no man going to complete me.

Julianne:This "I feel it" part is my favorite.The idea is nice; I just mean I feel like other artists have said similar things.

Becky: “Long way down.”

Julianne:Yay!

Becky: I think I thought this song was boring at first, but rest assured, I have seen the error of my ways.

Julianne:It grows on you, I think. I like the lyrics of the verses. And then the chorus is just so good. I'm not being very descriptive but I really like it. I think it works because the verses are vocally simple, but the chorus is more expressive. I love this idea of we had this amazing, great thing and we couldn't keep it together

Becky: I like the guitar part a lot. It's a sweet song. Kind of sad, but that's how I like 'em typically, as you know.
"We had a spaceship, but we couldn't land it." Now we know how the Drag Me Down video REALLY ended.

Julianne:Lol. I feel like Liam has gotten no love from us and honestly his vocals are the best in this song I think. He is so expressive and his voice is so smooth.

Becky: I would describe his voice as warm..
OMG “NEVER ENOUGH”

Julianne:YAY!!!!

Becky: This was another one that has grown on me. I love the Ah-oooah, part.

Julianne:This one is so unexpected which is part of why I love it soooooo much. It's so catchy. Just like Drag Me Down, it really only has 1 verse and then repeats it but it's so good I do not care.

Becky: "Lips so good, I forget my name." I mean, fuggedaboutit. Do you like the "come on!" part?

Julianne:Um, that's one of my favorite parts

Becky: I KNEW IT WOULD BE.

Julianne:The horns are so nice too. "I don't need my love, you can take it, take it"

Becky: It's just so damn good.

Julianne:It makes me feel amazing, which is my favorite kind of music

Becky: It makes me want to dance.

Julianne:Yesssssss.

Becky: My fave part is the "lips so good" part. It's a cute idea for a song, too. Like, here is everything I have. No, srsly. Take it all.

Julianne:Yeah, here's my heart, I have no need for it. I love how Liam does his falsetto at the end in the background.

Becky: Is that Liam?

Julianne:Yes, so the internet has told me

Becky: “OLIVIA!” Another sleeper hit.

Julianne:The Beatles reincarnated

Becky: Is this Niall at the beginning?

Julianne:I think so. Don't worry, someone has made a YouTube vid which answers that question.

Becky: Thank God for that. I like how he can't quite get down that low. It's so cute.

Julianne:Lol, it's nice to hear his voice in a different range. This one is really nice, it's so peppy.

Becky: See, I can usually pick out Louis and Niall, but when Harry and Liam sing mid range I'm like, "wait, who is this?" It makes me love the name Olivia, which I never really had any strong feelings about before.

Julianne:Yeah, they can be difficult to tell apart. Harry's voice is a little more distinctive I think.

Becky: I would consider naming my daughter after this song. I don't know why Michaela wasn't into it.

Julianne:She can be such a hater. Finally Louis has entered the song.

Becky: He had a great part at the end. Very heartfelt. BTW we ARE doing the bonus tracks too, right?

Julianne:Yes, I have my Amazon Prime ready. I Just haven't listened to those as much.

Becky: Ok. “What a Feeling.” SECOND FAVE on the album.

Julianne:I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH

Becky: I can't not dance.

Julianne:I love the music. It's so smooth, so sexy

Becky: OH MY GOD THE DRUMS.

Julianne:This one was so unexpected for me. Didn't seem like a 1D song but they killed it.

Becky: The bass and the drums really make this song what it is. I love the minor sound of it. THERE ARE THE DRUMS AGAIN. What does it mean, "through the wire?"

Julianne:Kanye West had a song called through the wire...I love this part, "whatever chains are holding you back, don't let them tie you down"

Becky: Is there a connection?

Julianne:http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=through+the+wire. That’s definitely the Kanye meaning.

Becky: “Love you Goodbye”

Julianne:This one really grew on me

Becky: This one snuck up on me, too. There are a lot of songs like that on this album.

Julianne:At first I was like, eh, whatever, and now I'm like, "sing it to me, boys.” Harry sings the chorus a lot on this album. And I mean, he does a bang up job of it, but he does it quite a bit.

Becky: The message is questionable, obviously, but what girl doesn't want to hear a guy singing about how she looks so bangin' hot that he just has to hit it one more time?

Julianne:Well the way she dressed, she didn't come to apologize, so I guess she knew what she was doing.

Becky: "I know there's nothing I can do to change it, but is there something that can be negotiated?" Lol. The best line is "Why you wearing that to walk out of my life?" OH, here comes Louis!

Julianne:I know I'm biased but I love Louis' part

Becky: No, you’re right. It's an amazing part.

Julianne:"Because if this is it then at least we could end it riiiiiiiiiiiight!"

Becky: Hahaha. SO good.

Julianne:They did this one live too, on Jimmy Kimmel or Ellen.

Becky: “I want to write you a song.”

Julianne:This one is one of my least favorites. Like, it's sweet, but I need more.

Becky: I feel like this one is not bad but it's not that good either. Some of the lines are really cheesy. Although, they do talk about building a boat. And you know how I feel about boats. LolJ

Julianne:Haha it all comes full circle. It's a nice concept, but there isn't anything that special about it. I do like the sound of someone writing in the background. I do like that line, "One as strong as you are free"

Becky: I like that too. I feel like it picks some up at the little mini chorus part.

Julianne:Niall has finally arrived!
“History”, I love it!

Becky: I think you like it more than I do.

Julianne:I don't know how you aren't in love with it

Becky: It's got a good groove to it.

Julianne:I like the chorus a lot

Becky: It's really easy to sing along to.

Julianne:It's also really nice when you think about it from the perspective of the 4 of them and their crew.

Becky: I actually prefer it when I can attribute my own meaning to songs. Which is why T Swift and I have had our differences. Like, I don't want to think about John Mayer when I'm listening to this song, Taylor.

Julianne:Lol. But that's why it's great: you can think of it from their perspective but it's easily applied to your own relationships. Once again, Louis' part is the best.

Becky: When are you going to meet this guy?

Julianne:Louis? Probably never. I mean, if I did, it'd just come off super creepy.

Becky: But if you don't meet him, then I'll never meet Niall, and that is unacceptable.
“Temporary Fix.” Written in part by Niall Horan....shocking (not).

Julianne: This one is No Control's cousin. Just as dirty, but it isn't as catchy in my opinion.

Becky: I agree with you. I definitely prefer No Control. It's alright, but there are so many really good songs on this album that it's not really in the same league, I don't think.

Julianne: I agree. It's just very empty. If you want a song about no strings attached sex, Perfect is far superior

Becky: “Walking in the Wind!”

Julianne: The beginning of this song reminds me of another song but I don't know what song.

Becky: I really like this one. But, as I predicted, it has lost a teensy bit of its luster for me. It makes me think of Simon and Garfunkel. I like the ah-oooooo part. But then, it's Niall, so…yeah.

Julianne: This is another one that I like. It's nice to listen to, but I don't love it.

Becky: It's a bittersweet concept, the mutual breakup.

Julianne: Gets very specific with the story about going out to a friend's birthday and realizing their ex is missing.

Becky: That's such a sad idea! Like they both knew it needed to happen, but now the other person is missing these little moments.

Julianne: That is really sad. It shows how integrated their ex was into their life

Becky: OMG OMG OMG #16 “WOLVES.” Hands down my favorite track

Julianne: Oh wow, that's a bold statement. This is my fave one of the deluxe tracks.

Becky: When I commit, I commit. Great beat, great melody, LOVE the lyrics.

Julianne: Remember, I've probably only heard these ones twice each

Becky: How are you feeling about it right now?

Julianne: Very good.

Becky: I can't even handle how much I love the chorus."We got the whole world shakin" Lol. Yes, yes you do.

Julianne: I love it when songs have a bit of swagger and this one has a lot.

Becky: Why does everyone not listen to 1D?

Julianne: Because they're "too cool." And they think they're still the same boys that sang "What Makes You Beautiful"

Becky: There's some more great drums on this song, too, which really adds to it.J

Julianne: Too bad they're going on hiatus or we'd be seeing them in concert

Becky: “Made in the AM,” The eponymous track.
OMG. Let's agree that when the hiatus ends, we're going to one of their concerts. Even if it means we have to travel overseas. I'm serious.

Julianne: Done, I'm flying to Montreal for Ellie so it's only fair.
I rather like this one which may surprise you since it's slow. I like the imagery of late night bullshitting with people you've known forever.

Becky: I like it pretty well. I especially like the line about "Swimming round in our glasses, talking out of our asses." It's another sweet picture they've painted.

Julianne: I also identify with it, being a night owl. It's a great way to rationalize my poor choices. The best moments happen after midnight!

Becky: Louis was really highlighted in this one, wasn't he? "she said, knowing Julianne would agree."

Julianne: Yes, I guess he was. Lol, I wasn't really thinking about it. Not much Niall though? I can't believe we're already done, this went unbelievably quickly.

Becky: Before we go, what is your favorite 1D song that is NOT on this album?

Julianne: That's so hard

Becky: I LOVE Fireproof. So that's mine.

Julianne: I knew that was yours

Becky: Am I that predictable?

Julianne: Well you love that one. That was the first one you ever sent me. I'm so torn...I think it's “Happily” actually. Runners up are “Where Do broken hearts go” & “No Control” Then after that would be “Strong” & “Fireproof”

Becky: I don't even know Happily

Julianne: I know I've mentioned it before, it's on Midnight Memories. It's the chorus. It makes me want to sing my heart out

Becky: Have you heard “Girl Almighty?”

Julianne: Yes, I have. I feel like that one's a favorite for a lot of people. I like it but don't love it

Becky: See that kind of surprises me. I also like “Steal My Girl” and “Fool's Gold”

Julianne: I like “Steal My Girl”, but “Fool's gold” is a bit slow for me. I like “Kiss You” from their earlier albums and “Best Song Ever.”

Becky: Best song ever is pretty fab.

Julianne: Now I just want to listen to 1D. They'd better come back from hiatus so we can go to a concert. Let's do Ellie's album next! This is such a fun pastime, listening to music and talking about it.