In the meantime

I like to keep things light. Drop a sarcastic remark here, a pun there, and all is well with the world.

The thing is, though, that life is rarely light. Now you can argue that life weighs us down or that we weigh ourselves down, but I think we can all agree that we carry burdens around like boulders on our backs.

Today I read a blog post from a blogger I seriously love, Kate Conner. She's one of my imaginary friends, who I've never met but still feel like we'd be pals if we did. In this particular post, she tells her readers that she is separated from and preparing to divorce her husband. Bombshell, right? Upon reading this, my heart absolutely bled for her. Seriously gushed. I'm not married, and I don't have kids, but I have a very vivid imagination. And I can draw my own (probably logical) conclusions about the pain in her heart. Because I don't know divorce, but I know pain.

Anyway, for some reason it reminded me of a time quite a few years back when Amy Grant announced her divorce from her husband of many years, Gary Chapman. A lot of hoopla surrounded the whole thing, and a lot of people basically wrote Amy Grant off as lost to the Christian community. See, the problem was, the details of the breakup were fuzzy and unclear and messy. But people, as people are wont to do, preferred the clear cut edges with which life rarely presents us, so they polished up the edges and decided who was at fault and who wasn't and laid out the punishments accordingly.

Except life is messy. And it's ugly. A few weeks ago, I found myself reading a lot of articles--from both Amy and Gary--about the circumstances surrounding their breakup, and the only thing that was clear is that all of the edges were blurry. And, most importantly, Amy's worth to the world is not determined by her mistakes or the brokenness of her life. The same goes for Kate, even though the situations are very different.

We are broken.

I'm a Christian. I feel like this is supposed to be accompanied by some sort of apology, because apologizing for our faith seems to be somewhat in vogue with many Christians today. But I'm not going to apologize, because the foundation of Christianity is an acknowledgement that we are broken and in need of saving. And someone needs to say it out loud. We are broken.

But brokenness and hopelessness are two completely different things.

God can work through the most broken person. Just look at Jesus's lineage. There are some pretty unsavory characters who did some pretty nasty things. But God was working through them, in all their disastrous glory, to bring about the existence of the One who un-broke the world.

And when I read Kate Conner's blog today, I had an overwhelming urge to tell her several things, all of which are things she probably already knows, but that doesn't mean she doesn't still need to hear them. So here it is: It doesn't matter whether you've broken yourself or someone/something else has done the breaking. God can and is going to use your life for good. That doesn't make the pain go away faster. It doesn't mean you won't feel anger. That doesn't mean you won't suffer. It only means that beautiful things can still come from the ashes.

And you might not see the beautiful consequences of this painful situation in your lifetime.

But God is working in the meantime.

Up, Up & Away!

I am one of those odd people who really enjoys traveling.  I realize that most people like vacationing in a different city but most don't enjoy the act of getting there.  I love airports, train stations, road trips, all of that.  Don't get me wrong, I get tired of it all sometimes too and look forward to no longer living out of a suitcase.  I have had my share of not so fun traveling experiences including unexpectedly spending the night in the Charlotte airport.  However, it has not squashed my romantic notions of traveling.  And let me say, if you have to spend the night in an airport, I recommend Charlotte.  Everyone is really nice even when you cry from fatigue at the US Airways counter.

So anyway, when I got the opportunity to fly in a small (4 passenger) plane for the first time, of course I jumped at the chance.

Here I am, feeling very official with my headset on.  Now normally, I like to push every button in front of me (I seriously got banned from the front seat of my friend's car in high school because she was sick of me messing with her radio) but I showed great restraint since you know, lives hung in the balance.  However, I did get a chance to try steering a bit while taxiing which confirmed that I was not born to be a pilot.

My friend dealt with air traffic control, weather and all of those crazy dials and I just got to enjoy the view.  It was really fun to see my hometown from up above, especially as I was able to locate my parents' neighborhood and my old high school.

While my stomach felt a bit off in the little plane, the ride wasn't too rough.  I didn't know what to expect with a smaller plane but I've definitely had bumpier landings when flying commercially.  The experience was well worth it and fit in well with my general life philosophy of "Why not?"  It was also a good reminder to me that I don't have to fly halfway across the world (although I so love doing that) to have an adventure.

"When I got my library card, that's when my life began." ~Rita Mae Brown

I'm a little disappointed with my numbers on Goodreads this year:

I will finish a couple more by year's end but I'm still sad to not continue the upward trend.  While I can come up with a couple of legitimate reasons for the decrease (and a bunch of ridiculous ones), I'd instead like to focus on the fact that hardly any of these books would have been read by me without the help of my local library.

While everyone in my county (hopefully) pays taxes which sustain our beloved libraries, I'd be curious to know how many actually take advantage of them.  People usually seem to think it's surprising and/or quaint that I still get books from the library.

Here's the thing: the library is not a dead institution.  Every time I go, there are lots of other people there checking out books and DVDs, using the public computers, and attending events.  And you don't even have to physically go there to use their resources!  You can check out eBooks on their website, renew a book, or request materials to pick up at your nearest branch.  I love it so much; I can't even fully put it into words. 

So anyway, this is my PSA.  If you have a local library that you're paying for, please use it and love it.  The alternatives are to either spend a lot of money on books that you'll probably only read once anyway or to not read.  I don't want either one of those lives.

"Let us read, and let us dance; these two amusements will never do any harm to the world." -Voltaire

5 Songs You Need to Hear (Part II: Christmas Edition)

I've been thinking about the passage of time, lately. Perhaps this is due to the fact that I turned 28 yesterday, which coincided with an old high school classmate of mine writing a Facebook post about how our 10-year reunion is happening next year. I don't think I feel old, but I can sense the flow of time, dribbling on in its irreversible way.

But some things never change. One of those things is Christmas. More specifically, Christmas music. You might add a new song here or there to your list of faves, but you keep the old standbys in your heart, drawing them out when "that time of year" rolls around again. And it takes you back to all those moments in your life when that song became YOUR song. The song that WAS Christmas. And natch, you want others to experience that joy, too.

Therefore, BEHOLD! Becky's 5 Songs: Christmas Edition.

#1
My Only Wish
by Jessica Simpson

I first happened upon this song a year or two ago, and I have to say, I find it delightful and fun. I hope you do too.

#2
All I Want is You This Christmas
by *NSync

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a Backstreet Boys girl through and through, but I'm a big proponent of giving credit where credit is due. And the one thing *NSync has on my beloved BSB is the fact that they released a Christmas album. And not just any Christmas album. An AMAZING Christmas album. I like to think that if the Backstreet Boys DID release a Christmas album, it would be unquestionably better than this one, but until that time, there's this. And let's be real, basically the entire album is great, but if I had to pick a fave...this one would be it.

#3
Emmanuel, God With Us
by Amy Grant

Speaking of bomb diggity Christmas albums, Amy Grant is seriously the queen of Christmas music. There is no such thing as a bad Amy Grant Christmas song.  I remember listening to these songs  when I was a kid and I'm reasonably sure, at the ripe old age of 28, I will never tire of them. This one is one of my faves. It really captures the mystery of Christmas.

#4
Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
by The Choirboys

Oh, this one. I cannot even tell you how much I love The Choirboys Christmas album. These kids sing like baby angels. I can't handle it. I love them. And if I am ever in England over Christmas, I'm going to find out where they are performing and go watch. Because angel babies.

#5
It's True
By Sara Groves (feat. Toby Groves)

You might think you have a heart made of cold cold stone, but that's just because you haven't heard this song before. Sara Groves knows just how to yank your heartstrings out. And she can do it all by herself, but in case you have any lingering doubts about that, she also included the voice of her little boy on this track to remind you that it's perfectly acceptable to weep uncontrollably into your sugar cookie batter. Composure? What composure? Sara Groves eats your composure for breakfast.

99 Pandora Stations

It has come to my attention that I have an atypical relationship with Pandora.  Obviously it's a very popular site/app, but I seem to rely on it more than most. 

My first clue that I may have a codependent relationship with Pandora occurred when they (for a short time) limited streaming to 40 hours a month on your mobile device unless you paid for a subscription.  This didn't affect most users' lives but I was identified as such a heavy user that I received an advance e-mail notification of the policy change.  While 40 hours a month sounds like a lot, I listen to music while I work and consequently stream music many hours each week.  While those were dark days, they thankfully repealed that policy.

I am now running into another (much smaller) roadblock: Pandora only allows you to have 100 stations.  I have reached the point where I have to delete a station when I want to add a new one.  When I shared this fact with others, they seemed to think that I had an abnormally high number of stations.  Below are my current 99 stations.  I can't say that I listen to all of these regularly but I like to keep my options open.  Who knows, maybe you'll find your new favorite station in my list...

*NSync
Aaliyah
Alicia Keys
Ashanti
Avril Lavigne
The Band Perry
Bastille
"Beauty and a Beat" by Justin Bieber feat. Nicki Minaj (I won't apologize for this; it makes me want to dance)
Beyonce
Bobby Brown
Boyz II Men
Britney Spears
"Can't Be Tamed" by Miley Cyrus
"Can't Fight the Moonlight" by LeAnn Rimes
Carrie Underwood
"Case of the Ex" by Mya
Cher Lloyd
Cherish
Ciara
"Closer" by Tegan & Sara (This is my newest station; I listened to their newest album repetitively today on Amazon Prime, my other music streaming love)
Danity Kane
Demi Lovato
Destiny's Child
Drake
Ella Henderson
Ellie Goulding
Emeli Sande
Enrique Iglesias
Finch
Foxes
Ginny Blackmore
Glee Cast (Holiday)
Glee Cast
GRAMMY Pop
Havana Brown
"Hey Daddy (Daddy's Home)" by Usher
Hilary Duff
"How He Loves" by David Crowder Band
J. Cole
James Morrison
Jay-Z
Jennifer Lopez
Jessica Simpson
John Legend
Journey
Julianne's Station (I think this is really Mariah Carey's station but I'm not sure)
Kanye West
Keith Sweat
Kelly Clarkson
Keyshia Cole
Lady Antebellum
Lady Gaga
Lana Del Rey
Leighton Meester
"Like A Lion" by Kristian Stanfill
"Love In This Club, Pt. II" by Usher feat. Beyonce & Lil Wayne
Luke Bryan
Madonna
Mandy Moore
Mariah Carey (Holiday)
Maroon 5
Marvin Gaye
Melanie Fiona
Michael Jackson
Miguel
Miley Cyrus
Milli Vanilli
Miranda Lambert
Motown
Mya
Nelly Furtado
Nelly
New Kids On The Block
"Number One" by R. Kelly feat. Keri Hilson
Pitch Perfect (Film Cast)
The Pussycat Dolls
R. Kelly
Rihanna
Robin Thicke
Samantha Mumba
The Saturdays
The Script
Selena Gomez & The Scene
"Shake It Off" by Taylor Swift (This is honestly not my favorite song but I wanted to hear stuff from her new album)
Stacie Orrico
"Straight Up" by Paula Abdul
Taylor Swift
"Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry
The-Dream
Timbaland
Today's Hits
Today's R&B and Hip Hop Hits
Tori Kelly
Trey Songz
Usher
The Veronicas
The Wanted
"Work Out" by J. Cole
"Your Love Never Fails" by Chris McClarney

5 Songs You Need to Hear (Part I)

Sometimes music just kind of...happens to you.

You know what I mean?

Of course you do.

Here is a list of songs that have happened to me. I think they should probably also happen to you:

#1
Somebody Loves You 
by Betty Who

This one is a super fun song. Seriously. I dare you to listen to it and not smile. 

#2
Do You Love Me
by Guster

This one reminds me somehow of all those Herman's Hermits songs my dad loves to listen to. I think it's the bells. Wait, BELLS? Yes. There are bells. It's a fun video too. These guys are super quirky.

#3
Bien o Mal
by Julieta Venegas

Ok, fair warning, this video is super weird. In fact, you should probably just listen to the song without watching it so the bizarreness of the video doesn't color your perception of the song. Unless you like watching women eat flowers and fart butterflies. And no, I'm not kidding. But the song is fun, and I have it on good authority from a Mexican friend of mine that the lyrics are very sweet. He could have been lying, though.

#4
Junebug
by Robert Francis

Part of the reason I added the (Part I) to the end of this post title was because of my deep abiding love for Robert Francis. The man is a fountain of great songs. This one has a bittersweet quality to it that I love, because apparently pain appeals to me. The video isn't my fave, but I think that's because the first time I heard it I imagined the whole thing taking place on a rickety front porch somewhere in the sticks, and this video tells a completely different story.

#5
We Can Try
by Between the Trees

This song changed me. Then I played it so many times that it also started to change my college roommate. It really sucks you into this vortex of hopefulness, and you're left desperate to know if she really did give the guy a second chance. Please say yes. She'd be a fool not to.

Harness Racing, Olympic Swimming & Boy Bands

If you're not familiar with the Enneagram, it's an extremely interesting personality test with nine different types.  I'm a strong Three, but also a pretty strong Seven.  Hence, this quote is a pretty good description of me: "We have named this personality type The Enthusiast because Sevens are enthusiastic about almost everything that catches their attention."

I tend to be easily interested in a wide variety of subjects and can get a bit carried away.  When I saw harness racing on TV, I decided that was my best shot at being a famous jockey and immediately started looking up the rules.  I can't say that I remember all of the intricacies of the sport now but it's good to have dreams.

When I went to the 2012 Olympic Swim Trials, I became completely enamored with the sport of swimming.  I always become obsessed with the Summer Olympics but had never been that into swimming (although I cheered Michael Phelps onto victory in Beijing along with the rest of the country).  After the Swim Trials experience, I read countless articles and read the swimmers' tweets.  I sometimes forget that not everyone gets this in-depth... so I failed to understand why friends couldn't remember that Dana Vollmer had set the world record in the 100m butterfly.

While all of this mania may seem insincere to some, I just really love learning.  Even a subject that doesn't seem fascinating at face value can become so when you start to discover more about it.  And if you like something, why wouldn't you love it?

Plus, there's nothing better than nostalgia about one of your old (but still very alive) passions.  For example, this holiday gem:

Happy holidays everyone.

I'm not single. I have a cat.

Confession time.

No, really. When I tell you this, you have to pretend you never read it. We'll just agree that this blog post never happened, ok?

Here goes.

I sometimes go to the YMCA to exercise.

"Why is exercising a secret, Becky?"

I TOLD YOU WE WEREN'T GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT.

You see, I have this thing where if people tell me how well I'm doing at something  or how good I look or generally compliment me at all, I proceed to act in a way that negates all of those good things. It's like self-sabotage. Except I'm pretty sure I have no control over it. In other words, if I tell you that I work out and you tell me that's great, I'll stop working out. I'm just a contrary type of person. So I'm going to tell you about my adventures at the Y and we can all just pretend that I observed these things whilst grocery shopping or something, k?

Boy, those are some fuzzy peaches, am I right? I swear that spaghetti was on sale...OMG, Salt & Vinegar Chips! Ima get me some!

See where I'm going with this?

Tonight I went to the Y and saw the following things:

1) People who are going way too fast on the elliptical, which made me feel like I should go faster, which made me tired. I can't decide whether or not I like these people.

2) An old classmate of mine, who was wearing a delightful shirt that said "I'm not single, I have a cat." I really hope he actually has a cat. Partly because I like honest apparel, and partly because I like cats, and I like people who like cats. I also realized that I'm a super awkward person, because he said hi to me and I was like, "....mm hmm" So Ryan, if you're reading this, here's what I would have said if I were even 1/10th less awkward: "Hey! How are you? How've you been? Love your shirt! I also hope you really have a cat because...you know...honesty."

3) Weightlifters who are basically stuntmen. One girl (I refer to her as Jag in my head, because of a tattoo on her shoulder) was jumping on and off a bench. It looked hard. I did not envy Jag at all. Another guy, we'll call him Latino Hulk, was doing HANDSTAND PUSHUPS. Wrong room, kids. Cirque du Soleil auditions are by the basketball courts.

4) Another imaginary friend. Not imaginary as in a made-up person, but imaginary as in, we're not really friends and we've never spoken. But we exchanged a smile and we were on adjacent ellipticals and in my mind, we're friends. This happens a lot to me. I'm never sure how to convert these imaginary friendships into actual friendships. Or even actual conversations. It's just like the Pepsi delivery guy at Omaha Hy-Vee #9. We don't need words to communicate how we feel. But I know we're friends, and it was really hard for me when we switched delivery days and I didn't see him anymore. If you're out there, Pepsi delivery guy, just know that I dream of the day when we once again see each other for two or three seconds once a week and nod at each other like the besties we are.

5) A man swimming in a lime green speedo. Yeah, that one doesn't need an explanation, I just want to say that I admire a man with that much confidence.

The Friendiversary looms nigh

Becky: I met Julianne the week I moved into the dorms at the University of Nebraska--Lincoln. I was in the honors dorm Neihardt, in the Heppner wing. Mine and A's room was literally in the stairwell. Catty-cornered from our room was Julianne and M's room. M and A were close friends from the year before, and M is super-crazy-talkative and friendly, so natch I got invited to watch a movie in their room. In the process I actually met The Wav, who eventually married M, but that is a different story for a different day. I also met Julianne.

Julianne's senior year, Becky's junior year, hanging out in Courtyards

If I'm really honest, I don't remember forming an opinion of Jules right away. I'm sure I liked her, and I'm sure we got along fine, but I'm not really talkative when I first meet people, and Jules' and my friendship is based on the sharing of words, information, and laughter, which isn't something that can happen until both people actually start talking. As I became more comfortable in my new habitat, I opened up. I think in my mind the moment we officially bonded was the night we stayed up talking and laughing crazy hard one weekend until 3am.

After that, we were inseparable (not really, but that is the kind of thing you are supposed to say when writing this crap).

Julianne: Our friendship has even survived traveling together.  Once to Dallas but most notably when Becky visited me while I was teaching English in Vietnam.  Nothing says friendship like traveling more than 8,000 miles for spring break.

At a "Hue" style restaurant in the Phu My Hung district of Ho Chi Minh City

So of course a while ago, I evidently said we should commemorate our 10 year friendiversary by getting tattoos in 2015.  (I say "evidently" because I don't really remember this but it definitely sounds like something I'd say.)  Stay tuned to see what we end up getting!

In front of a waterfall at the arboretum in Dallas, TX

Giving Thanks

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Tomorrow, Thanksgiving is upon us.  And what a wonderful day it is.  Before Black Friday started on Thursday, I feel like it was one of the less commercial holidays and rather just about food, family, football & giving thanks.  I am all about being grateful for the traditional things: good health, family and friends, roof over your head, etc.  However, I'm also trying to think about things I'm grateful for a little differently this year. 

I'm currently in a Beth Moore study called James: Mercy Triumphs.  In Week Five, Day One, Beth asks her readers a series of questions about something you've longed for but don't have.  The last question she asks is, "Has anything good or beneficial come to you or to others as a result of your lack?  If so, list every bit of fruit you can identify or even remotely discern."

I found this interesting as we so often focus on what we don't have and what we're missing out on.  However, when asked to list good things that have come from me not getting what I want, I had a long list complete with amazing travel (which led to even more amazing friends), a part-time gig as a tour guide, and getting the opportunity to take MBA classes.

Later in the study, Beth also makes the good point that God sees a situation in its entire context: not only what currently is, but what was and also what will be.  We sometimes question His decisions because we don't have all of the information He does.  And as my group discussed at study, sometimes you have to look back and be thankful that He didn't give you what you asked for.  Instead, you ended up with something better that you never would have thought to request.  Or you do get what you asked for, but in His timing, not yours.

What are you thankful for this year?  Is there any good in your life that came from not getting what you want or thought you wanted?

Under Appreciated Male Coiffures, Part 2

Hey friends. Let's talk about the Man Bun.

I can't really pinpoint the moment it happened. I suspect it was when I was watching Sky High and I caught a glimpse of Warren Peace wiping down tables in a Chinese restaurant, hair pulled back, brooding all over the place. Naturally I had to Google the actor who played him to make sure that I was not, in fact, lusting after an actual high school student (I wasn't). Once I realized I wasn't being pervy, I had to tackle my next project: Reevaluating my stance on the male ponytail.

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Let me be clear. I don't generally dig ponytails on men. In fact, I typically don't like long hair on men at all (depending on the cut and the man). But there is something about that bun.

Then I found out that Mr. Strait was in excellent company. The Man Bun has been worn by a plethora of celebs. Really REALLY attractive ones, actually. And lest you think that Becks is one-dimensional in his hairstyling habits...

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This is a real thing, people. A beautiful beautiful thing. And it's being embraced by all the right people.

Source & Source

Yes. That is Justin Bobby.

However it bears mentioning that not all Man Buns are created equal. There is a fine line between looking smoking hot and looking like a homeless hipster, and that line should REALLY not be crossed. Additionally, a bun too high on the head is a little too ballerin-o (What? There's no word for a male ballerina) for me.

You might be thinking, "Becky, we all know and love the Man Bun. It's far from under-appreciated." And to that I say, you've never met my mother. As it turns out, conservative women of a certain age aren't big fans of Man Buns. It's one of the greatest tragedies of our lifetime. That, and texting while driving (had to add a little gravitas to this post at some point)

Under Appreciated Male Coiffures, Part 1

Lately, I have become enchanted by the male pompadour.  While there are many variations on this classic style, the truly spectacular are few and far between.

I have tried to ascertain why I find the well done pompadour so attractive and am not completely sure of the answer.  Maybe it's best not to analyze it and just go with it.

Probably part of the reason is due to my love of David Beckham and his love of the hairstyle.  His mastery of the style is so revered that if you search "pompadour" in Google images, he has his own section.



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Another part is likely due to the fact that the style exudes confidence.  I have found that while everyone has moments of insecurity, I like those who are self-assured.  While there is a fine line between confident and cocky, I do enjoy a bit of bravado.  If the pompadour could talk, I think it would say, "take me or leave me, but you certainly can't ignore me."

Lest you think that my adoration of this hairstyle is only blog talk, rest assured that I am just as effusive in person.  I came across a wonderful pompadour in the wild just a couple of weeks ago.  I was out with friends and saw a guy with a great one and was transfixed.  After telling my friends how enthralled I was by his hair, I had to take action.  On our way out, I stopped and said something to the effect of, "I just wanted to tell you that your hair is amazing."  He simply thanked me and said, "Cheers."

I will leave you with one of my favorite Bastille songs.  It seemed appropriate since the lead singer, Dan Smith, has been known to rock a pompadour:

The first time ever I saw your blog

Welcome. You are now privy to our wildest adventures and our most philosophical musings.

Why BOOM Crickets? Here's how it went down (the abbreviated Becky version):

Becky: We need a blog name. How about the Pear and the Pomegranate, like our [imaginary] event planning company?

[Julianne takes a long time to respond]

 Becky: Crickets

Julianne: Sounds good. Even better if it's in French. [Which would be La Poire et Le Grenade]

Becky: But then won't people think grenade? Like BOOM.

Becky: BOOM Crickets! That sounds fun.

Julianne: I have to go to some movie or something.

Becky: Fine, but if you leave now, you forfeit all right to participate in the naming of the blog.

Julianne: Okay.

Becky: BOOM Crickets it is.

That's how we roll, I guess. Buckle your seat belts. We're both pretty crazy drivers.